Charlene Strong: Compassion, Dignity and Grace

Most people, as they wind their way down the paths of their lives, will eventually be faced with a moment that will take them from the well-trodden, comfortable trail they have been on, and, like it or not, force them in a new, different direction altogether.

So it was for Charlene Strong.

Strong’s story is well documented in the Pacific Northwest; in December 2006, she lost her wife and partner of nine years, Kate Fleming, to a flash flood that trapped her inside the basement of their Seattle house.

Fleming was rushed to Harborview Medical Center by ambulance, and when Strong arrived, she was denied access to her, as the state didn’t legally recognize domestic partners.

“They told me I needed to find someone in her family who could give me permission to see my own partner,” Strong said. “There was a woman there, a social worker with a clipboard, looking at me like I was some sort of imposter, telling me I had no legal rights to be with her. Meanwhile, she was in the back, in some room, alone.”

Strong, who will share her story and how it set a new course for her life at 2 p.m. on Tuesday, Jan. 26 in the Wilson Library Reading Room as part of Western’s Equity and Inclusion Forum Speaker Series, was furious. And sad. And confused.

“I almost didn’t know where to start; all I knew was that I had to do whatever I could to make sure this didn’t happen to anyone else,” she said.

 

Taking on Olympia

Strong doesn’t like labels, and she likes “activist” even less than most. She prefers “advocate,” but you could probably add in “pot stirrer” and “muckraker,” and she would probably smile at the inferences.

“There’s no doubt, you have to be willing to wade deeply into things if you want to see change. You can’t just do it half way,” she said.

Strong’s introduction to the political Deep End of the Pool came less than a month after the death of her partner, when she testified in Olympia, first to the House and then to the Senate, as the legislature was beginning the debate on a domestic partnership registry that would grant same-sex domestic partners the same basic legal rights as married heterosexual couples.

“I looked every one of them in the eye. I wanted them to feel as rotten as I did. I made sure they heard me and understood my pain and my frustration – and at least in some of them, the language got through,” she said. “The right message can turn around even the most hardened heart.”

On the other hand, some of the representatives on the committees she spoke to couldn’t be dissuaded. One, in particular, openly likened gays to pedophiles and necrophiles.

“All I could think of was what an incredible disconnect this person had with reality,” she said. “All I was asking for was to be able to have the legal right to hold my wife’s hand while she died – but to her, we were all just a bunch of child molesters.  Thankfully, in the end, a lot of people worked really, really hard and we got it done.”

Later, that year, Strong stood next to Governor Christine Gregoire as the domestic partnership bill was signed into law.

Now, nine years later, not only has Washington state and the nation as a whole moved past the days when same-sex partners didn’t have the same legal rights as their married heterosexual counterparts, they have the same rights to legal marriage as well.

“I remember one day in Olympia when we were laying out our views on the registry and why it was important, and one representative spoke up and said ‘They’ll be wanting marriage next.’ Well, you bet we will. And we got that too,” she said. “If you have it, why shouldn’t I?”

 

Commissioner Strong

In 2009, Strong again worked with Gov. Gregoire, this time as Strong was appointed to the Washington State Human Rights Commission, and she is currently serving her second term.

“I worked so hard for quite a while focused on legal equality for same-sex couples, and in some ways, my work on the commission just feels like an extension of that,” she said. “Watching and seeing the horrendous capability humans have to treat other humans with utter disregard just reinforces in me why this commission and its work is so important.”

Strong grew up in Slidell, Louisiana where she dealt with issues of racism, parental abandonment, alcoholism, and physical and mental abuse as a child – all of which she says made her more sure of right and wrong at a very young age. It also lit a flame of empathy in her which only continued to grow as she got older.

“Compassion, Dignity, and Grace. Everyone deserves them, without exception,” Strong said.

As for what she hopes the audience takes away from her talk at Western next week, she says her message will be simple.

“What we need is an awakening of our hearts for justice, and to speak for those who can’t speak or stand up for themselves,” she said.

 

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Charlene Strong's visit to Western as part of the Campus Equity and Inclusion Forum Speaker Series is co-sponsored by Western Reads. To sign up for the ongoing Equity and Inclusion Workshop series, go to http://west.wwu.edu/training/classes/default.aspx#.